It seems I'm being forced to face the very high possibility that I'm not quite as invisible as I believe. Well I never thought I was physically invisible, but I was seriously under the impression that other people overlooked my existence as much as I overlook theirs....but maybe that was just wishful thinking on my part.
Still, in general, I thought the whole 'I stay out of your way, you stay out of mine' rule was applicable to my life and surroundings. Never did I think there would come a day where I would be hearing dangerous rumours about myself spreading around. Rumours without a single trace of truth anywhere in them. Yes I'm aware people whisper and murmur about me, but I'm a weird / abnormal person so that much is to be expected. I assumed all they do is stop a second to briefly wonder why I'm so strange, before going on with their obviously more important lives.
And yeah, I have been a subject in rumours before, but usually I'm a side participant, just briefly listed as an accomplice, so to speak, to whoever the rumours were really about. I never thought I'd be the sole subject or a rumour, much less that malicious rumours would be flying around about me, and it really makes me wonder, what kinds of people lead such un-fulfilling lives that they'd take to time to create a spread lies about me. My second thought is of course, just who the hell did I piss off, and how, to make them want to spread character destroying gossip.
On both counts I haven't a clue ~_~. I really wish that people would stay out of my way, after all, I stay out of theirs....and its not that I'm stuck up, it's just that, well...I don't care about any of these random people much less know who the hell they are. I suppose to be receiving this much hate from people I don't even know, I must have really committed some grave crime without being aware of it. I know I'm absentminded...but I'm not that bad. Honestly though I don't care enough to speculate about the source of these rumours. I simply hope that they stop, and they don't seriously impact my life...in any way.
But geeez! Is a little anonymity really so much to ask for? And why to black people have to be such extreme gossip mongers. I know now almost everyone in my close group of friends is a subject in one sort of extreme rumour or the other...all of disturbing content. ~sigh~ the only conclusion I can come to is that it all either stems from jealousy or fear...or both....with more than a pinch of extreme boredom and self esteem issues on the part of the script writer.
Seriously I hope they find some thing worth doing with their lives and stop eking out pitiful lives. Meanwhile I'll hold out for the possibility of leaving this sad country and someplace a little closer to heaven (Japan) :P
That's all...for now.
Mata ne ~~~